Dear Mom,

This year I celebrate my first Mother’s Day as a mom, and I have a few things I’d like to share with you. First, you’ve always said that being a mom is the greatest gift you’ve ever received. I probably used to roll my eyes every time you said it, but now I know you were right — there is truly nothing like this.

There aren’t enough Hallmark cards in the world to show you my love and appreciation. But, first things first, the “I’m sorrys.” I’m sorry for the times I didn’t nap when you wanted me to. Im sorry for the countless door slams and innumerable eye rolls. I’m sorry for the misunderstandings, the talkbacks, and the silent treatment. I’m sorry for not always believing you had my best interest at heart. I’m sorry for any day I haven’t shown my gratitude toward you. I’m sorry.

And where to begin with the “Thank yous.” Thank you for the lullabies. Thank you for the never-ending back rubs. Thank you for the shoulder to cry on. Thank you for the listening ear. Thank you for attending all my volleyball games and tournaments. Thank you for working extra jobs so that I could get things I wanted. Thank you.

I’ve watched you go through hard times, and you’ve always come out stronger on the other side. You inspire me to stay positive even if it seems next to impossible. Motherhood hasn’t been the easiest ride so far, but your help and guidance fills me with so much gratitude. Thank you for still holding my hand, even though I’m now the one that needs to hold someone else’s little hand.

Becoming a mom myself somehow made it less believable that I was ever the size of my own baby. But you knew me then. You loved me before you ever met me. You prayed for me and tenderly welcomed me into our (moderately hectic and crazy) family. You set the example of what it means to be selfless, to be inspirational, to be creative and generous. I don’t claim our lives or relationship have been perfect. But i thank god for you. You taught me what it meant to be a daughter, sister, friend, then a wife, and now a mom. I look into Ryker’s eyes and long to be for him what you’ve been for me.

So, this year, on my first Mother’s Day as a mom, I celebrate you for all you’ve done for me, and strive to be the kind of mom you’ve always been — one who inspires creativity, creates big and beautiful worlds for her little boy, and is selfless, loving, and kind. I never understood what it all meant until I looked at my son. While I fell so in love with him, I also loved you more in that moment than I ever thought possible. Your sacrifices and unending love became so clear to me. On this Mother’s Day, and every day after it, I’ll strive to be even half as good of a mom as you are. I learned from the best, and I can’t wait to see what else you have to teach me.

All my love,
Your Little Girl, Turned Big Girl, Turned Mama